my lombok trip

One wifes's cousin is married to a bloke from lombok .A fair few years back. We went to visit it was a bit of adventure .We took the 5 hour ferry from padang bai to lembar arriving in lembar at dawn .Which was kinda like stepping back in time loved driving across lombok at dawn rice paddies ,tabaco, soya beans and buffalo every where!! so pretty at that time of the morning["cidomo's"horse and karts on the road surprised me too !!} My wife's cousin and husband live right in the middle of lombok about half an hour north of sengkol .We were driving on okay roads but by the time we got near my inlaws place we were snaking our way around rocky lime stone roads and across dried up paddies with my cousin inlaw at the wheel .

When we arrived at my inlaws place .It was very remote no running water or electricity. It also turned out they had not seen that many white people .I was the first westerner they had ever come to stay . Their was heaps of people at home and boy did I cause a stir !! the young kids were so scared of me I'd take step foward to shake hands they would run .We sat down to have breakfast and I had a public gallery of about 30 people watching me eat .The sasak language is so different with the up and down in tone .I could talk bahasa indonesian with younger people but lots of older people only spoke sasak .The reason their was so many people at the house when we arrived is because they were preparing for a circumcision in coming days .The women were busy cooking ..The men also slaughted two buffalo and numerous goats for the ceromony .I sat around with the men and drank to much coffee and nearly started a gudang garam addiction!! well definatly passive smoked a few .My wife and daughter hung around with her cousin who now can speak fluet sasak.. On our second night a drama & dance proformance was held and a couple of thousand people came to watch .It is strange miture of muslim and hindu .MY wife commented how it sounded like Some of the gamelin music had come straight from bali.. I was still the only westerner and ended up with about 200 kids following me around .One young kid asked me lots of questions about this and that, later that night he called me over to met some of his family in the crowd I sat down and after a little while noticed a couple of the older boys had some pretty nasty looking swords .I asked my new little friend what for " in case of trouble". A couple of young women in group where I was sitting were fasinated with my blonde hair

. the next day the ceromony kicked off gamelan music early then feasting ..Then with the two boys to be circumcised being carried, in a chair between bamboe poles all round the village constantly changing direction with lots of noise ,laughing and dancing with at least 150 people or more. Very up lifting to watch. I felt very privilliged to see this ..the last bit of the ceromony was not as pleasant for me and my wife the actual deed looked very painfull but as I said to my wife at the time how many hundred years has this ritual gone on ??not our place to interfere in their culture



From time to time here I wonder whats going on in that place today .Actually I googled earth right down on their roof's a few months back could see the place but not the people or the culture in my silly little screen ?

Thanks for sharing your Lombok adventure with us.

I hope that you dont mind that I moved it to the Lombok Travel Forum so it could be the first post there. I am sure people planning a trip to Lombok would be interested to read of the sort of ceremony they may be able to attend in Lombok. Yes, the locals are usually more than happy to have a tourist come along and watch their ceremonies, be it a wedding ceremony, circumcision or other. Just ask around when you arrive and see what ceremonies are planned in the following days. You may get lucky!

That you are much more likely to get to attend a wedding ceremony than a circumcision.

Lombok has one of the highest divorce rates in Indonesia and inturn there are an awful lot of weddings every season!

Gemma wrote:

That you are much more likely to get to attend a wedding ceremony than a circumcision.

Lombok has one of the highest divorce rates in Indonesia and inturn there are an awful lot of weddings every season!

On my last visit to lombok about a 2 years back was lucky to see the peperations for a wedding ..A few of the men I have met had more than one wife, some three !!.the only upside I can see to this is you might have someone to talk to because I don't think the first wife will be after you bring the second one home .one wife will do me just fine in any case !!

You are right Greg. I know quite a few men with multiple wives in Lombok and it a very common practise.

I have to say that those I do know have pretty turbulent relationships where all are living together under one roof. I have personally witness physical fights between the wives of one man.

Having said that my understanding is that the first wife must agree to the second marriage. Though if she does not agree I dont know what option she has other than divorce, which may not be an acceptable option either.

Although rarer in Bali, my father in law had two wives also. He has now passed away and the two wives, (both of whom Made calls mum) still live together happily. In this case it seemed that the first wife instigated the marriage to Made's "real" mum. Maybe after giving birth to 5 children, she had enough and Made's mum went on to gove birth to another 5!

I've also met Balinese Hindus with two wives, one couple (or is that triple?) was in Lovina and another in Ubud.

In both cases the first wife was very unhappy with the situation, heart-broken really, but could do nothing. In both cases they still were raising children and depended on the husband in that respect.

We also have poligimy in the west, just not legalised. How many men have long-term mistresses? In Indonesia they would just marry them, in the west they can't. Occassionally the wife knows about the mistress and accepts it. Other times they don't know - and I've also come across Indonesian men married to a younger wife and the older, first wife doesn't know. What can I say, men are men and women are women everywhere.

Met lots of guys, both here in Bali and in Lombok that have had or currently have, two wives. Of course much more prevalent in Lombok. Funnily enough it is rarely harmonius!! I think the man gets sick of it well before the women! I love to ask them why can't us girls have to husbands...you know they cannot answer that!

Hi Sasak And Thanks for moving over to the new site too! Thanks also for your call and offer of help today with the kitten, I got is sorted. Bali Animal Welfare Association picked it up this afternoon.

Now back to what I was going to say.... would you really want two???? I sure as hell wouldnt. Having an Indonesian husband is a little like having an extra child in the family

No way...just like to annoy them!!